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| what's up y'all! i am currently in so. california! and loving every minute of it! been layin out and relaxing! and just being me and not worryin about the cares of the world(well at least tryin not to!). i just wanted to say hi! and hope everyone is doin well!! i'll post more later! as of now...time to go to the BEACH!!!:D | | |
| lately i have been really irritable, emotional, moody, and just not wanting to deal with people who know me that well...i don't know what is goin. i honest to God can not figure out what is goin on with me...i am either fighting or pickin fights with people who are close to me...i did it with tim...the whole time we were together....he said i was always tryin to pick fights with him but i never saw it...i guess it's probably true...i don't know why but i don't allow people to get too close to me...and i can't for the life figure out why?! i know i loved tim and i care/cared deeply for him but why did i push him away...why, according to everyone, am i pushin the people that care for me and i care for, away. i can't figure out what i want to do with myself. i know workin everyday is wearin me down and makin me irritable, and i need to get away for a while. i need a week's vacation. to just get away and figure things out. and just sit and have no one really bother me...and no one to wait on...and just sit and take care of myself and figure what is goin on...i think the biggest thing is i am tired...just emotionally and physically exhausted...i have worked just about everyday for 8 months and not goin anywhere in my life...i have just advanced my serving skills...boy oh boy i am goin far in life... basically, i miss tim. | | |
| And yet another 6months sips by and i still have moved no where important in my life... yes, i have a male interest, but i don't know how far it's goin to go...we have our ups and downs as does any relationship but i'm not sure how far i want it to go... i need some advice or just some great listenin ears...and i know only a select few people actually read this but maybe those are the opinions i am searchin...i don't know what to do...for the past year or so i have been wanting to move back to California...not just because it's beautiful but because i actually felt as tho i belonged there...for many reasons...i felt in touch with the ocean and the sky and i felt happy everytime(well most of the time) i woke up, i was doin something my heart desired to be doin and not only to be doin that but to be doin it in the place where i loved being...i sit here in Indiana wondering what am i doin? where am i goin? i have reached out and tried to further my job level but nothin has happened and i realize i have no degree but i still have experience. i want nothin more in my life but for the people around me to be happy...but i need to be happy as well...yes i am currently happy with the "boy" situation in my life...for the most part...but can i really just stay in one place for that...some place that i don't know if i can see myself living forever...i'm young...at only 21 years old...i have SO much ahead of me...so much to live for...i don't want to get married yet and just settle. i wasn't born to stay put...i was born to travel and drive and see what was made for me! i don't know what to do...and i am reaching out for some advice...so please...that's all i ask for. | | |
| wow...so i haven't written on here in like 4 months! crazy how time flies by! alot has been happenin! christie moved back home, so i flew out to AZ and helped drive her back! fun times! well interesting at least! i moved into my apt. and i love it! it's actually startin to feel like home!! and i just love bein on my own(payin my own bills isnt' too much fun, but i am handling it), and not having to worry about comin home too late or callin when i'll be headin home! it's nice not to have to worry about having someon to answer to! i've been workin at the roadhouse and old navy just about everyday! i don't really care for old navy just because it's slow and i am not use to workin in a slow environment, but i still enjoy workin at roadhouse. although some of the people are gettin on my nerves, but that's somtehing i can deal with because you'll get that in any job! i went to a career fair last week for cumulus media, which owns wfms, which has always been my dream job! i hope they call me because iw ould love to work there this summer!! things are still somewhat goin with rodney...he;s comin out in the middle of may...i haven't seen him since sept. yah i know rediculous! i hope things are cool...it'll be good to see him again...i've been workin out alot this week.,..and i am proud of myself...tryin to work out and eat healthy till rodney gets here...drop a few pounds! i jogged 2 miles straight today! i was happy! i felt good! anyway...i just felt like writin so i decided to get on here! | | |
| Please keep the family of joey strong in your prayers. Even if you don't know him, he died fighting for our freedom. so please keep the family in your prayers as they are goin through this very tough time right now! | | |
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